This Spring until Last week of May has been pretty Rainy (much much needed), cloudy, a bit chilly as we were wearing a second thin layer almost until mid may! Though since that humid, CALOR is back! with a bang and im always caught offguard...ah, what, NOOOOO, is this every year now.

Gaspaxcho, Orchata, Agua fria, Ensalada de Pasta y Sushi--- freezing in office, me trying to eat icecream/yoghurt as my body starts CRAVING it like mad and then ruining my digestive system for weeks (has become a ritual every start of the summer now) - ah summer is here indeed!

Meanwhile my experiments with nutrition continues. 

So far in the last 2 years my intolerances have gotten worse - ive started feeling low on energy both physically and cognitively and hence tried experimenting with supplements. turns out im allergic most supplements too, how fun! uff but the amount of digestive distress ive been through in the last year or so, im surprised and in AWE of the human body and its ability to heal and restore! What an absolute miracle of nature our body is! As an amateur practising budhist, this is one thing i think about from time to time - to keep me from repeating patterns of "self negative talks". Too bad i could have powered an entire Communidad autonoma for the last year and made good money, if there was a system of ATM - shit converted to energy! Too bad

Also why dont the south asians invent a hair to energy converter or atleast to make some material out of it! we have so much body hair - we can use this as a raw material for something, im sure! This is the problem with having old uncles in power in our country and the need to always simply ape the west!

Anyway seems finally ive found the answer in the form of creatine + a blend of venga protein including soy - to be in optimal physical + cognitive health. ofcourse not as amazing as whey protein but it is what it is, we have an expression in kannada - haneli barida mela an madake agute. Its like need to accept things you cant change!   i did and was happy in my own weird, kind ways----until i got hooked on this manosphere podcasts! PHEW! what a bad phase that was - it felt like for the last 2 years or so i took a wrong turn, did some nasty drugs, hung out with all the wrong people and was mostly miserable but pretending to like it coz of status? skewed self worth? coz i didnt get to hang with the coold kids in college? 

funny thing is i thought i had dealt with all these insecurities and had moved on and when i moved ot Sweden it felt like heaven as there si no sense of the old masculinity in the society there! So there is no pressure to be one not even the pressure to be somewhere close, hanging out in the vicinity so to speak. Coming back to spain, man such a disapointment, primarily due to complete lack of any activity in my dating life. it seems culturally women are attracted to the Papi´s and Jordi´s who yap constantly, molest the person atleast half a dozen times in the first 2 minutes of meeting alone! and also treading in the mundane and gossip! im not blaming the local culture ofcourse, coz im the fish out of water here. Es es lo que hay or like we say in kannada